A good marriage is no guarantee against infidelity. Affairs are not what they used to be because marriage is not what it used to he. Marriage, for the past 100 years or so, has been a sort of alliance that ensured economic stability and social cohesion. Now, it's (mostly) only based on love and affection. Instead of just having the desire of having a family, a nice house, and happiness etc., people want to feel desired. And even if they are "desired" they need constant reassurance. But, if someone has everything they want, and they're perfectly happy, then why would they have an affair? Some people cheat because of insecure attachment, loneliness, etc or just simply because they can. And when they do, they negatively impact everyone involved. Most of the time, it seems, it's not even about the relationship or the other person, it's about the person cheating. Their own personal and repressed thoughts/actions. In The Great Gatsby, Daisy states, "...she was less than an hour old and Tom was God knows where. I woke up out of the ether with an utterly abandoned feeling, and asked the nurse right away if it was a boy or a girl..." (16-17) Daisy reveals the cracks in her and Tom's marriage. Then she continues to say, "Everything's terrible anyhow..." (17) Which is her describing her general feeling of discomfort about society. Getting to my point, I find it funny/ironic how when Daisy, Jordan, Tom, and Nick left town to go drink, Daisy claims that she never loved Tom. It's ironic that when Tom is informed of this, he tries to bring up all of their "happy" times together (some of the only times that he was around), probably only the few times that they were actually even together! They definitely do both cherish the happy early moments, though. No matter how happy they are and the idea that they come from similar social class, their marriage still consists of multiple affairs on both sides.
“Cry Me a River” is Justin Timberlake’s second single from his debut studio album, Justified (2002). I'm relating this song to events/discussions in the book. "You were my sun, you were my earth" relates to how Daisy and Tom feel about eachother "So you took a chance, made other plans"- Tom goes on "sprees" "You don't have to say what you did"- Because Daisy and Tom both already know about the affairs "Now there's just no chance with you and me"- There kind of is in the story but things will never go back to the ways they used to be. "You must have me confused with some other guy"- Tom probably thinks this about Daisy because she claims that she never loved Tom, but she's just confused. "Cry me a river"- Daisy cries and becomes very upset with Tom and Gatsby when they argue in the city
The problem in the Great Gatsby isn't Daisy. Nothing is ever enough for Tom. He can never have enough money, and having the girl that everyone wants is still not enough for him. He always wants more. Daisy probably feels hopeless in the idea that there is nothing more that she can really give him. She probably blames herself, like in this poem. The reason that she goes to Gatsby, probably, is because she feels as though she is not enough and she probably even thinks that she is the issue. When, in reality, the issue lies within Tom and his inner, personal issues, eventually ruining his family and everyone else's lives...
This poem explains that cheating is one of the worst things that you can do to a person. It fucks them up inside and out. People often think that leaving will hurt the person so much, but the hurt has already been done. There are no excuses.. the end. An example of this in The Great Gatsby is when Tom has an affair with Myrtle, but once things go downhill with her, he won't let his wife go even though it's not fair to her because she is so hurt. After Tom finds out that Myrtle has feelings of wanting to move away, Tom realizes that all of his ladies are slowly getting away from him. Tom states that, "I suppose the latest thing is to sit back and let Mr. Nobody from Nowhere make love to your life. Well, if that's the idea you can count me out...". (130) This is ironic because Tom is having an affair at the same time and needs to shut the hell up. He started the affairs and hurt Daisy right when the two of them got married. All he is doing is making Daisy suffer more and more, and he gets angry when she racks up the nerve to say she wants to leave him to be with Gatsby.
This article talks about the importance of words and how much they matter. People use terms and phrases such as infidelity, affair, another relationship, transitioning, moving on, etc. Or, more practical terms such as cheating, adultery, divorce, abandonment, broken etc. It matters because people use these phrases lightly, when they actually are serious. For example, in when Tom states that, " And what's more I love Daisy too. Once in a while I go off on a spree and make a fool of myself, but I always come back, and in my heart I love her all the time." (131) Tom simply acts as though whatever he was doing on his "sprees" does not matter at all and shouldn't upset Daisy. But in reality, it impacts her a ton. He But the second that Daisy feels neglected and sad, and wants to have attention from Gatsby, it's a huge deal and Tom becomes VERY upset and begins revolting.
This article includes 8 reasons why people cheat. Some of the reasons include lack of love, sexual desire, and neglect. These can all relate to The Great Gatsby. Tom, for example uses his boredom with Daisy as his excuse to escape and at the same time Daisy has an affair to get the attention that lacks from Tom. Daisy is neglected by tom when he goes out on his little "sprees". She is lacking love and attention from Tom which gives her an "excuse" or "reason" as to why she messes around with Gatsby, which altogether negatively impacts everyone involved in the end.