In the article, Dr. Gary Chapman explains that one of the most essential qualities of a healthy and successful relationship is speaking in each other's love language. Most people have one or two dominant love languages that they are good at giving and two that they like to receive. The five love languages are: words of affirmation, gift giving, physical touch, quality time, and acts of service. It is essential that partners work at expressing their love in the way that their partner wants and needs them to express it. In the case of Daisy and Gatsby, Gatsby tries to use words of affirmation and quality time as a means to get Daisy to stay and fall in love with him. He is entirely consumed by the idea of getting back the five years they spent apart, that he ignores Daisy's primary love languages- gift giving and acts of service. We know that these are her love languages because Tom always wins Daisy back after he has some scandalous affair by buying her something nice (Nick references this when he sees Tom and mentions the pearl necklace). When they are having the argument at the end of the book in the hotel before Daisy runs over Myrtle, Tom mentions all of the sweet things he did for Daisy toward the beginning of the relationship, like carrying her so that her shoes wouldn't get wet when it was raining. Gatsby didn't care to find out about her love languages or express his love in a way that was compatible with Daisy's because he was simply consumed by the idea of Daisy, who he wanted her to be, and who she used to be five years ago, that it was inevitable for her to decide not to stay with him.
This poem describes what happens when you let your whole world revolve around making someone else happy. In the end, you are left with nothing. Gatsby's whole existence depended on Daisy's acceptance. He gave up everything for Daisy and was even willing to take the blame for Myrtle's death. Daisy takes all of Gatsby's attention and affection until she gets sick of it and then runs off with Tom to try to forget that the whole affair and car accident even happened, leaving Gatsby with nothing and no one in the end.
I chose this image because it has multiple hands strangling and blinding two different people. There is a sort of eroticism marked with a look of pain on the woman's face. For me, this represents the infidelity that occurred throughout the novel and the love that Myrtle had for Tom. She was both aroused and hurt by him, but the love and obsession overpowered any pain that he caused her. Affairs always end badly, leaving multiple people hurt. Myrtle couldn't stop herself from loving Tom and even wanted to leave Wilson. Wilson's unwillingness to let her go, Tom's unwillingness to leave Daisy, and Myrtle's jealousy of Daisy are what lead to Myrtle running in to the street like a mad woman. Her desperation and love for Tom led her to be struck by a car and killed.
A study was done in the Netherlands that found the more in-love a person is, the worse they perform on tests where differentiating between relevant and irrelevant material is the goal. The author, Tara Suess, explains that being in love is much like having too many windows open on a computer- you can still function, you'll just run slower. As soon as Gatsby and Daisy rekindle their romance, Gatsby begins to lose his drive and level-headedness. We see him putting himself in the spotlight to get noticed by Daisy, even though that means that it could also bring more attention to his illegal affairs and get him into trouble. He begins not covering his tracks as well and slips up on some of his lies, as well. This happens when he's showing Nick and Daisy around his house, and he has to back peddle when talking about where he got his money from. Not being able to maintain his lies and letting Tom find out about his boot legging business scares Daisy away. Had he stayed on top of his game and not let his love for Daisy blow his cover, he could have convinced her that he was a legitimate businessman and got her to choose him over Tom.
According to this article from medicinenet.com, obsessive love is an unhealthy type of love that differs from healthy love by becoming extreme to the point of obsession. It is clear that Gatsby experiences obsessive love with Daisy in the moment where he tells Jordan about how he'd been keeping tabs on her. "When I said you were a friend of Tom's, he started to abandon the whole idea. He doesn't know very much about Tom, though he says he's read a Chicago paper for years just on the chance of catching a glimpse of Daisy's name" (79). It is brought up again on page 93 when Gatsby shows Daisy clippings from newspapers wherever she was mentioned---- he'd been keeping tabs on her for the 4 years and 11 months that they spent apart! Beyond this, the article states that, "for example, the person who suffers from obsessive love tends to want to spend excessive time with their love object, such that they think excessively about and engage in behaviors that put them in touch with their love object to an extreme degree." Gatsby bought a house that was directly across the bay from Daisy in order to feel closer to her. Beyond that, he let the green light at the end of her dock mesmerize him at night so much so that he physically reached out for it in longing for Daisy. He also held lavish parties every single weekend just in hope that she would show up. Obsessive love is also marked by the element of not participating in recreational activities or having social relationships. We see this in the end when Gatsby tells Nick that he never even used his swimming pool and then again in the end when no one to attends his funeral. In the end, Daisy felt like Gatsby was putting too much pressure on her to forget her past. While Gatsby may have thought that Daisy would be flattered by all of his efforts and putting her on a pedestal, this behavior only drove Daisy further away from him.
This song is about a woman's love for a man but how he went out in search for more money, much like Gatsby did in the novel. Ultimately, the woman continues to love the man despite him being gone, but she expresses her loneliness and heartbreak throughout the song by saying, "I will love you 'til the end of time/I would wait a million years/Promise you'll remember that you're mine." Which is a similar experience that Daisy had when Gatsby left. The song also expresses the role that the woman played in the man's decision to leave in order to search for the "American Dream." The lyrics, "But when you walked out that door, a piece of me died/I told you I wanted more-but that's not what I had in mind/I just want it like before/We were dancin' all night/Then they took/you away- stole you out of my life/You just need to remember." Gatsby's love for Daisy drove him to leave and pursue a life of crime in order to provide for Daisy and give her the lifestyle he thought that she wanted and deserved. These decisions, driven by his love, is what ultimately pushes Daisy away from Gatsby and why she ends up choosing Tom over him--- even though Gatsby loved her more than Tom ever did, he was a criminal and lived a dangerous lifestyle, a lifestyle that Daisy wouldn't fit into and didn't want to be a part of.