Without any role models, its hard to show yourself the way, but if you continue and push through the challenge, you can help yourself. In Lucille Clifton poem, "won't you celebrate with me" she is talking about how she was a minority because she was a person of color plus she was a women so it was hard for her to be a strong independent person, but without having people to show her the way, she had to teach herself and even though it was hard, she still pushed to teach herself . For example, in the poem she writes, "what i have shaped into a kind of life? i had no model." When you have nobody in your life to help teach you right from wrong and how to be strong and independent, it is really hard cause you have nobody to provide examples. But Lucille teaches herself & is proud of that & wants people to notice that and praise her . Additionally, Clifton says, "both nonwhite and woman what did i see to be except myself?" She was born in 1936 , so thats when times was hard for black people & especially hard if you was a colored young woman . She made herself who she is in life even though it was really challenging for her . She is proud of teaching herself the way even though it was obstacles and she may have wanted to quit .
If you love someone you can learn how to love yourself. In the beginning when Ifemelu cuts her permed hair off, she hates her natural hair. “At best, she looked like a boy; at worst, like an insect. ‘I look so ugly I’m scared of myself.’” She was showing self hate, she hated that she had to cut off her permed, long hair because it was damaged. But later on it says "That simply, she fell in love with her hair." The self-hatred turns into self-love because she learns that her natural hair is beautiful and now she loves it.